|Anyone here still willing/able to help out?
||[Jul. 27th, 2007|09:27 am]
Doctor Who Concrit
I realize this comm is kinda abandoned these days, which is an absolute shame, but I’m hoping there are enough people who still have it friended to evaluate this piece for me and tell me where I’m going wrong.
This is part of a long WIP (the next to the last chapter in the first story arc) that’s basically a what-if alternative to Doomsday. The setup is that the breach closes just before Rose would have gone in, and just before Pete would have appeared to save her. Only they discover part of the Tardis is damaged and they’re going to be stuck on Earth for the next several years. The story is supposed to be about how this situation would realistically affect the Doctor/Rose relationship, since he’s inevitably going to view being trapped in one time and place as a prison sentence, yet he manages to convince himself that returning to her “proper life” is the best thing that could happen to Rose, even without her mother there. The Doctor has gone back to his old job at UNIT, which is much different than it was in the 70s, and Rose is trying unsuccessfully to find a job to support herself while she tries for her A-Levels.
Thing is, this chapter keeps not going where I intended it to go. I’ve had a couple of people look it over for me, and the suggestions helped but I think I need a bit more input. This chapter was supposed to be a big, grand-slam fight between the characters that sort of leads them to a kind of revelation about the direction they’re headed in, only it just won’t go there. So can anybody tell me if I should just give up and go with the bitterness of temporarily crushed optimism or alternatively, if that doesn’t work, how to turn it back into the kind of blazing but cathartic row I had envisioned??
( the chapter that's falling apartCollapse )